You are allowed to be sad.
When we lose someone or something that means a lot to us, we expect to grieve. People circle around us in comfort.
At a certain point, though, people want you to “get over it.” They get uncomfortable with your sadness. They don’t know what to say that they haven’t already said. They want you to be happy again.
And maybe you’re not over it. Maybe you’ll never get over it. It might feel like that.
What might help:
- Let yourself be emotional. Your feelings are valid, and the best way to work with them is to honor them. Stuffing them down makes them stay longer, in my humble opinion.
- Recognize that the people who want you to get over it do care about you. They want you to be happy. They just may not be equipped to help you. It’s not their fault. Don’t try to make them.
- Find the people who will let you be emotional. (You’re on this app. I think you found them.)
- If you can’t find those people, be that person for yourself.
- Get professional help, if you need it. It might be easier to talk to someone unbiased, and a good professional will have insight, experience, and resources to help you.